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'PLANE SPEAKING - THE WIT AND WISDOM OF MICHAEL O'LEARY'

Published in the UK by Aurum Press, London in 2010.

Previously published in Ireland by Gill & Macmillan, Dublin in 2008.

Buy online at Amazon UK here or at Gill & Macmillan Ireland here.

THE IDEA :

I credit my Irish publishers Gill & Macmillan with the idea ...

THE DUST JACKET :

Some might call it radical, ruthless business logic; others, the foulmouthed abuse of a shameless gobshite. Whatever: Michael O'Leary, the shrinking violet who is Chief Executive of the awesomely successful low-cost airline Ryanair, has made it his business to offer you his opinion on everything, even if it often makes you wish you hadn't asked. Now, here is the very baddest of his collected wit and wisdom, on everything from the possibility of charging passengers for going to the loo on his planes to his Aunty-f***ing-Mavis. We may hate him when we end up being charged forty quid for a flight we thought we were getting for a penny, but who can fail to be mesmerised, enlightened or just laugh out loud at some of the stuff that issues relentlessly from the man's lips? 

On airline security: 'We are not going to die at the hands of toiletries.' 

On popularity: 'I don't give a sh*te if nobody likes me.' 

On customer service: 'Are we going to apologise if something goes wrong? No, we're f***ing not.' 

Refunds? 'You can't have one, so f*** off'. 

Airport operators? 'Overcharging rapists'. 

The European Commission? 'Communists'. 

Travel agents? 'F*ckers'. 

EXTRACT :  (Copyright 2010)

‘We do not take money. Passengers give it to us voluntarily.’

'You want luxury? Go somewhere else.'

'Some passengers are carrying baggage which is clearly inappropriate.’

'We are seriously considering making this the new in-flight uniform.’

‘We love Boeing. Fuck the French.’

'We shall fight them on the beaches, we shall fight them in the air, 

we shall fight them with toiletries.'

‘British Airways are skyway robbery.’

'Habemus lowest fares, my children.'

‘‘I have a taxi because it’s a good investment. I have a Mercedes 500. 

Not because I like the Mercedes 500, but because it's a big, 

comfortable fucking car.’

‘It was a chance for me to dress up with a couple of pretty girls. 

It’s a shitty job but someone has to do it.’

‘There are great people in horse racing and there are messers.’

'Don't make me look like a boring bastard in a suit.'

Irish Edition